If you ever wish to win me over, french onion soup, raspberry pie, and a tickle fight will do the trick.

Lately I've been in this sexy, lounging around, wanting to roll around on a trampoline with someone i love mood.




E.E. Cummings







I've also ben holding in a handful of secrets.






These, by the way, are Blueberry Truffles. If you live near a Sees candy, you MUST try them.
I got to sample one for the first time a few days ago and went back and bought six.
If happiness was a specific taste, it would be this.

"Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility"

Why did I never hear of this until now?







People always talk about the calm before the storm, but sometimes, its just the opposite.
I'm rarely calm before an emotional storm. But after a good, salty, all out downpour, I'm so much calmer.
Sometimes a good cry just makes things better. It cleans out all those awful little things that stress you out so much.
I think my emotions go right along with LA weather.
I'm usually too over heated and rarely let myself cool down and just breeze through life, and about twice a year i have a good, reckless rainstorm, afterwhich, all the smog and shittiness is cleared out.
Everything is prettier and calmer again.
Incidently, My rainstorms tend to come the same time they do in LA. It's september now, so we ought to get rain soon.
Then in about six more months i'll have another break down about something, and it'll be rain season.

I'm calm, I'm content, and pretty soon everything will be good again.
I think it's starting to get to that time of year again when I can go swing and roll around in the park at midnight again.
When the air is almost wet and the grass is nice and dewy on bare feet and I can breathe.
Hooray for fall! Let's hope it doesn't wait for the end of October again.

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.

What do you do when you screw up something that already sort of ended, or never really existed?
Even worse, when they don't think you did anything wrong, but you feel as if the world is falling out of place. It's damn near impossible to explain to them why you feel like you ruined things with them.
And even worse than that is being told, by your best friend, that no matter how hard they've tried to like you for the past four years of you being in love with them, they just cant.
They know you better than anyone else, but they're the only one who can't love you that way.

It sucks so much to hear that break in your voice that lets them know how full of disappointment you are.
It's that terrible weak sound you don't recognize hardly making its way out of your throat, barely noticable, but you know it's there. And up until that point, even you didn't realize how upset it's made you.

If you want to truly torture someone, let them fall in love, and let it not be returned.
That's the worst punishment in the world.

"Some cause happiness whereever they go, some cause it when ever they go." -Oscar Wilde.

Though I'm still not particularly happy (my best friend leaving for portland university, etc) these pictures have been cheering me up considerably.
As does (shutter) blogging. It's mostly the word and the idea associated with it really.
But it relaxes me, and nothing listens as well as a keyboard does when you have lots to say and need to get out your ideas quickly.








More fall inspiration.



Also, this (from garancedore, of course) gave me a really neat idea.
If I could commandeer a pair of old doc martens or wellington boots, I could shellac them and use it as an actual vase.
Not that I plant things, but it seems like a good idea.


I think that soon I'm going to start posting some of my short stories on here.
I'm just rather nervous and secretive with them, unless its to someone I like a lot.
Not that I don't like all of you.
Any ideas for what you'd like me to write about?

Dance, like no one is watching.

After my last post and the state of awkward depression I've fallen into lately, I've decided I'm not allowing myself the option of feeling down. I refuse to be unhappy.
This, along with my terrible body image, has led me to one conclusion.
I'M GOING TO START DANCING AGAIN.
I used to love it, so, so much. Ballet and swing, mostly.
I used to be in such great shape before I left my performing arts school after two years (it may or may not have been accredited.)
I was so happy, then.


I have no idea why i ever stopped.

As for fall coming up, I'm thrilled.
I just means more layering clothes and pretty, turning leaves.
Inspiration for wardrobe?
Why Kiera Knightley and Sienna Miller, ofcourse.



It's going to be a good season. I can feel it.





And hopefully there will be a bit of romance, too.

I keep romanticizing romance.

Someone said that "you can tell a lot about a man by the woman he loves, because nothing else he does shows his soul like she does." Why is it that I fall for all of these guys that bemoan the loss of the girls who are too silly, too bitchy, too wrong?
I want that whirlwind, carefree, tickle-fighting, sleep-late love.
That loud, shy, laughing, hand-holding in public, throw cautions to the wind love.
The kind where you stand close and talk quiet and you smile the whole time with your eyes real big.
That sort where you could walk around the house naked all day, comfortable, but it's also alright not to.
I want that love that makes you smile to your self through out the day, unprovoked.
What happened to love notes?
What happened to chivalry?
What happened to romance?
Where on earth did it go?














I want that happy lazy stay in bed all day, not even getting up because you're hungry, talk until the sun comes up, love.
Where some part of your bodies-- toes to calf, nose to chest, hand to stomach-- are always touching on accident when you're asleep.
I don't want to be taken out to some expensive restaurant.
I don't need to be given things.
I want honest-to-god happiness.
Where is this?